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Just for laughs...
Cokehead Lennon
Someone mentioned this list on, and of course it sounded hilarious. So I googled it, and sure enough, found it right away. So I present for your viewing pleasure...

60 Ways To Say No To Drugs, From The Partnership For A Drug-Free America!!1!
1. No, I already eat too much junk food.
2. Top three answers on the board, survey says… NO!
3. No thanks, I'm into reality.
4. Got a pen? Write this down… No.
5. No, not now. Ask me again in a billion years.
6. Right now's no good. How's never?
7. Two words: N - O.
8. Abracadabra! Oh, sorry - though you would disappear.
9. Haven't you seen the fried egg in those ads?
10. Look at the time. Gotta go.
11. I'll pass.
12. No way, put it away.
13. Are you crazy?
14. Sorry, I got stuff to do.
15. Not today, not tomorrow. How about never?
16. Nah, I have plans today.
17. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.
18. No can do.
19. Nope. Smell ya later!
20. No, but if you have any chocolate…
21. I've got to get home and walk my dog.
22. No, I don't know where that stuff's been.
23. No, I might wind up in one of those ads.
24. I don't have time for drugs.
25. I don't want your life.
26. Sorry, I'm on a drug-free diet.
27. Uhhh…let me think… No!
28. Not now. Maybe in the next millennium.
29. You must be mistaking me for an idiot.
30. I don't think so.
31. Poof!
32. I'd rather eat my mother's mystery casserole.
33. No, it's not my style.
34. No. And get a life while you're at it.
35. I'm on my way to the mall.
36. Did you just ask me if I wanted to do drugs? I didn't think so.
37. No, I don't talk to strangers, stranger.
38. No, I'm already weird enough.
39. I prefer my brown eyes to your red ones.
40. My parents did and look at them now.
41. No, it'll violate my parole.
42. What part of "no" don't you understand?
43. I'll say it slow for you, "nnnnooo."
44. How do they say "NO" on your planet?
45. No, I have a very busy schedule.
46. No, no, a thousand times no.
47. No offense, but no.
48. Gee thanks, but I'm high on life.
49. No, somebody might see us.
50. No. Get it? Got it? Good.
51. No, my imagination is good enough already.
52. No, if I want to look stupid I'll become a mime.
53. Let's not go there.
54. No, you might be an undercover cop.
55. No, I got places to go, people to see.
56. No, in fact never.
57. Not tonight, I have a headache.
58. No, I like my brain the way it is.
59. No thanks, I might get kicked off the Math team.
60. No, and that's my final answer!

Of course, most of them are incredibly ridiculous ("No, if I want to look stupid I'll become a mime"). And as much of a complete geek I was in grade school, I have to say some of them are just INVITING non-stop teasing and harassment ("No thanks, I might get kicked off the Math team").

But I really can't get over how downright rude and completely uncalled-for some of these responses are. Just skim the list, and imagine what it would be like to say some of these things to a person's face. Someone offers you drugs, and you immediately snap "I don't want your life"? Who says that? What kind of asshole would suggest saying such a thing? Even if the person in question had the worst life ever, why would you want to bring it up and throw it in their face like that? It's just...wrong.

Anyway, yeah, I thought this list was kind of funny. ENJOY!


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